Outside it was getting dark and Nick still hadn’t come in. The children were all in their rooms and the house was quiet. Even Jake had gone to bed without any fuss which was a first in his nine years of life.
Steam filled the bathroom.
Steph stood with a lavender fluffy towel wrapped round her. On her head she had a matching one. With her hand she cleared a port hole in the mirror and looked at herself. Was she attractive enough? Her skin was clear for a woman approaching forty but she’d left herself go a bit. Under her nose the hairs were dark and she went to the bathroom cupboard.
The large old space where the tank used to be needed reorganising. She knew there was face bleach in there somewhere but she hadn’t used it in months so it could be anywhere. Epsom salts, razors, Nick’s stuff. Nick’s stuff made her eyes sting and she sniffed. He was going to come home. He had to. He couldn’t leave her. Her hands touched something squishy and jiggly. Was it? Could it? It was! She brought the basket forward to look at the condom filled with water boobs. They were remarkably realistic. The reservoir thingummy made a very authentic looking nipple. It was too tempting not to and she copped quite a feel. They rolled and bounced around with the perkiness of a twenty year old’s boobs. When she looked down at her own, which were applying for residency to live in Brisbane, she felt a twinge of jealousy. At the end of all this would Nick have better boobs than she did? Hers had breastfed two children. His would never know that. She put them back and rooted through the toilet rolls until she found the face bleach.
She hated this job. It was impossible to mix up the right amount for just under her nose. Then the slimy, gross stuff stank. God she hated the grimy, gritty white moustache. She tidied up the stuff and flung the box back into the nether regions of the cupboard. They caught her eyes and she had to molest her husband’s boobs again.
Steph was so engrossed that the first she knew Nick was home was when he grabbed her from behind and kissed her neck. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I should have said.” As he covered her neck and shoulders with soft tender kisses his warm moist breath had her heart pounding.
“I should have known. It was stupid.” The boob she’d been squeezing burst, soaking her and splashing Nick. Her heart sank. No! They were going to make up. What if he hated her. Passion died in an instant and she closed her eyes to stop the tears falling. “I… I… it was just so...”
He laughed and nuzzled her. “Good job I picked up another pack on the way home. Are the kids asleep?” Turning her round, he used his thumb to gently wipe her eyes and he reached round her for some toilet roll. Careful, tender as always he removed the face bleach and threw the paper into the toilet.
“We need to talk.” She welcomed the deep, passionate snog that rendered any words impossible.
When he broke away he nodded. “I’ve taken tomorrow off. We can talk then.”
When he was being loving and caring she could never resist him. And she ignored her head that said she should take advantage of the kids being asleep to talk. Her arms went round his neck and she pulled him closer. He was right it could wait until morning.
"Best Possible Taste" is very loosely based on real life events.